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[Review] Shibuya Kaidan 2: The Locker 2

Netflix Synopsis:

The Locker 2 was featured on the same disc as the first The Locker, so there isn't a synopsis to put down here. Basically The Locker 2 picks up, literally, right where the last one left off, at the hospital bed of Rieka (Asami Mizukawa) and her beloved student Ayano (Maki Horikita) at her side. Before dying (in a rather erotic way, I dare you to tell me that wasn't death by orgasm. I DARE YOU!) Rieka gives Ayano the key to the haunted locker. In true Scooby Doo style, Ayano scourers the Shibuya district for the locker that the key belongs to hoping to find some answers about her teacher's sudden death.

My Thoughts:

Being the glutton for punishment that I am, I decided to watch the second installment in the "Locker" series. I'm not sure if it was because I was expecting pure crap, or the acting was insanely more tolerable, or if I was just feeling a little more open minded today, but this movie wasn't as bad at the first one. One thing that really perplexes me however, is the fact that they made two separate movies. Both movies run about 65 to 70 minutes each, the second one is a direct continuation of the first and they both had the same actors. With a little fat trimming (mostly the "recap" memories that Ayano had with her moments with Rieka) this could have been one whole (slightly better) movie.

When the movie started, I almost felt kind of bad for the little engine that couldn't. I sat down and was pretty much convinced that it was going to be terrible. In all honesty it had me until just about halfway through. I was thinking, "Aw, this isn't so bad. Maybe I was being a little hard on it...", but of course as soon as the thought fleeted across my mind the movie took a turn for the worse. Really, I have to blame the doctor. His crazed "grief" was well, just plain crazy and over dramatic. Ayano was carrying the movie fairly well until he decided he was going to go for "most memorable freakout". In the end The Locker 2 stole just as much from Ringu and Ju-on as the first one did and did it just as shoddily. I'd skip this one unless you're some sort of weirdo completest (like myself) or you just like bad Asian horror movies without an ounce of originality.

2 Stars

P.S. I'm a pretty good synopsis writer. Netflix, I am available. Call me!

[Review] Shibuya Kaidan: The Locker

Netflix Synopsis
Legend has it that if you use a certain coin locker in Shibuya, you will find love. Six teenagers take the legend literally and use the locker hoping to make their dreams of romance a reality. Instead, they find a curse worse than death: Ghostly crying, mysterious handprints and something wicked shadows their every step. A she-devil is waiting who will never forgive or forget … and once she has you in her clutches, she'll never let go.

My Thoughts:

The Locker reaked "student film". From the "hey I can't afford real actors, so I'm going to cast my friends" acting to the cheesy filming locations (all of which looked like places you could film for free) and strange film tricks that seemed painfully out of place (that weird panning they did during the first hospital scene?). All these technical details would have been fine if they story wasn't so generic and just plain blah. I spent the first 50 minutes of the movie wondering if the synopsis writer on ol' netflix had even seen the movie. The locker is barely mentioned once and the seemed to focus more on the statue for unwanted fetuses (uh, yeah. Didn't know Japan had those either). I suppose that this was the writers way of throwing a red herring, so that the ending would be a surprising shock, but the only thing it had in common with a red herring is that it stunk (haha, too far? I'm here all night folks!). At the very least the synopsis could have been a little more subtle. Unfortunately it doesn't stop there. There was no atmosphere, which gave it the scare power of a Halloween episode of Home Improvement. Finally The Locker's last sin is that it was completely unoriginal. The final scene where the girl confronts the "ghost" (which is, of course, a long stringy haired girl who walks disjointedly *sigh*) was ripped right out of Ringu. I won't go into detail, the confrontation scene and the scene afterwards were practically the same. The biggest difference was the amount of money spent on make-up and effects (The Locker of course was the loser of the two).

I really enjoy foreign horror movies. I think what I like best about them is that fact that they're so different because each culture has its own set of mores, superstitions, and things that scare them. It's fun to watch and see if things that are considered scary are scary to me too. With that said, I am fucking sick and tired of the stringy haired Asian girl seeking revenge. While I like Ringu and Ju-on they both really ruined the bulk of Asian horror movies made after 1998 (and 2002 respectively). It's like America's incessant need to remake movies from the 80s, and well any movie really. They've simply run out of good/original ideas, so they keep recycling the same ideas over and over again. I may not be on the up and up of the latest cinema coming out of Asia, but all I keep seeing from the horror genre is the stringy, Asian girl ghost whose hair is in her face and is seeking revenge (being wet is optional). Knock it off!

Anyway, the point is that The Locker lacked in originality, storyline, acting, and budget. One of four is tolerable, but all four a bad movie makes. Skip this one unless you have 70 minutes you don't want back.

2 Stars

[Review] Redbelt (2008)

Netflix Synopsis:

In director David Mamet's riveting character study, jujitsu master Mike Terry (Chiwetel Ejiofor) -- who's in a financial bind -- considers entering the arena to compete for cash … which goes against his philosophy and his integrity. With his dojo foundering, a pistol mishap puts Mike further in debt, leaving him at the mercy of gangland creeps, including a shady fight promoter (Ricky Jay). Tim Allen and David Paymer also star.

My Thoughts

The following review contains spoilers for Redbelt (and probably It's a Wonderful Life, but who hasn't seen that?).

For me, Redbelt had the same message that It's a Wonderful Life had. For all those positive glass is half full people it's that "as long as you're a good person who does the right thing and stays true to your beliefs then you'll be rewarded in the end." It's my personal belief that people who like IAWL are people who haven't actually experienced what it's like to try your hardest and be the best person you can be and still have really crappy things happen to you. To quote Phoebe from Friends "They shouldn't have called it "It's a Wonderful Life," they should have called it 'It's a sucky life and just when you think it can't suck any more it does.'"

Redbelt is about a jujitsu teacher who has a floundering dojo downtown. He's poor, but happy. Through a chain of events life goes from good, to bad, to worse. He eventually loses everything and he's forced to fight in a shady tournament to pay off his wife's loan shark. In the end his life is still crappy, but like Clarence getting his wings at the end of IAWL Mike gets a red belt from a master and we're supposed to believe that it's all worth it. Mike still has no money, his wife leaves him and sells him out, and his good friend and star pupil is still dead. I'm pretty sure the glass is still half empty on this one.

Besides Redbelt being incredibly depressing (if I haven't reiterated that enough here), the dialogue was terrible. Yes, I realize that repeating the same sentence 3 or 4 times in a row is Mamet's signature it's also amazingly painful to sit through when it is delivered poorly. When it doesn't flow it's like "why...are they saying the same thing over and over again?" I actually hated Heist for this very reason (I know, blasphemy right?). Despite all my complaints here I actually liked the movie. More so than my martial arts loving husband who thought the action was weak and the story pointless and boring. I get it, it's a thinking man's martial art movie, but really how many bro's that love MMA and UFC are even going to get that? I get it, but I'm far to cynical to think that it's even worth it in the end.


I'm back?

I've decided that I want to try to start reviewing movies again. I used to love it so much and it brought me a lot of happiness to watch and review movies. I feel like I'm a bit rusty (probably can tell from my Death Note review I just posted), but I think I can ease back into it. Any words of encouragement are of course welcomed. Haha.

By the way...did you know that Geocities is going to be closed down in October? They say that if you have a geocities website that it'll be lost forever unless you move it. I might move my review site, but I'm not sure. Kind of sounds like a lot of work for something I don't even do anymore. We'll see how these reviews go and maybe I'll move the site and reboot it.

Anyway, hopefully I'll keep this up and hopefully you will enjoy it.



[Review] Death Note (2006)

Netflix Synopsis:

When he discovers a mystical notebook that grants him the power to kill anyone he wants by merely writing their name, a brilliant student named Light (Tatsuya Fujiwara) develops a god complex and attempts to create utopia. Now, it's up to ingenious detective "L" (Ken'ichi Matsuyama) to stop the supernatural vigilante. Directed by Shusuke Kaneko, this eerie thriller also stars Asaka Seto, Erika Toda and Shigeki Hosokawa.

My Thoughts

Walking into Death Note with no prior knowledge or exposure to the anime/manga was an interesting experience. I'm not sure if the anime or manga is better or worse than what I just watched or if even resembles anything close to the source material. Knowing anime fans however, I can assume it's pretty close considering how butt-hurt they can get about these things (my former self included). With that said this was a pretty good movie. It had a significant enough of a background that I wasn't confused without it being to talk-y or technical. It did have a definite cheesiness to it. Nothing that I could really put my finger on, perhaps camera angles, the acting, or the dialogue, but there was something that felt off. One thing I do have to say is that I hated, HATED the animated Shinigami at first. It was just so horrible. Like a purple spot right in the middle of your TV screen...ugly, distracting, and you're not really sure why it's there. Strangely enough though, by the time the movie ended he didn't bother me at all. I think in the end it accomplished one of its goals and suckered me into wanting to read the manga. Also, why anyone would label this a "horror" movie is beyond me. A thriller...MAYBE...somewhat of a drama, but definitely not a horror (besides aren't Asian horror movies, by definition, supposed have wet, stringy-haired dead girls looking for revenge?). In all, this was an interesting look and a decent movie. I'll be sure to check out the sequel.

[Reviews] 31 Days of Halloween: Part 4

Part 4!!! I'm almost all caught up here. Only 2 more days left in the month! Yay for Halloween!!!

Oct. 14th:

Child's Play (1988):

A chubby toy doll named Chucky becomes an instrument of terror in director Tom Holland's unnerving tale of horror. Before cops gun down a serial killer (Brad Dourif), he invokes a spell that transfers his soul into the body of Chucky -- who ends up as a birthday present for 6-year-old Andy Barclay (Alex Vincent). When a rash of murders ensues, he knows Chucky is the culprit, but neither Andy's mother (Catherine Hicks) nor the police believe him.

My Thoughts:

Up until 8th grade I was terrified of horror movies. Once I caught the scene in Child's Play where Chucky is running up the stairs on tv late one October night and it seriously scarred me for a long time. I still have a weird fear about dolls running up stairs. That being said, Child's Play is not scary. In fact it's very cheesy and totally 80's. It is, however, surprisingly good. The only Chucky I remember is the incredibly grating one featured in "Bride of Chucky" and "Seed of Chucky". It's like the "Nightmare on Elm Street" films...Freddy K gets more and more annoying as the sequels keep piling up. Anyway, it was a pretty average movie, but had some good scenes like when the batteries fall out of the box and when he's walking around burnt, which make up for the lag in between. I think everyone needs to see Child's Play because Chucky is definitely a horror movie icon. In fact I'd be surprised if you haven't seen it already. Overall it's a decent Halloween movie. 3 stars.

Oct. 15th:

Lady in White (1988):

When a Halloween prank traps young Frankie Scarlatti (Lukas Haas) in a school coat closet, he witnesses the replay of a girl's death. Narrowly escaping the grip of her unseen killer, Frankie vows to help solve the murder and exonerate a wrongly accused janitor. All the while, the legend of the ghostly lady in white lingers. Writer-director Frank LaLoggia composed the film's musical score and plays the adult Frankie.

My Thoughts:

I thought that "Lady in White" was going to be a terrible, terrible movie. Like "Burnt Offerings" I had no idea how it got on my Q or why it was so close to the top. Surprisingly "Lady in White" turned out to be a really good movie. It's not really a horror movie though. The beginning was light and funny and the rest was more of a somewhat suspenseful whodunit murder mystery coming of age story. The killer becomes rather obvious less than halfway through, but it's kind of exciting watching them slowly uncover who the killer is with the help of a ghost. Since the beginning of the movie takes place on Halloween it makes this movie perfect for Halloween, but there aren't any scares or horror elements in it. It's a toss up, but I really recommend this movie. The end is a little cheesy with the special effects (c'mon it was the 80's), but the story and the acting was wonderful. 3.5 Stars.

Oct. 16th:

I missed my horror movie this day because I had to spend the day in Houston. I'm a failure. I'm sorry!

Oct. 17th:

Shutter (2008):

This American remake of a Thai horror blockbuster follows the Shaws, a young newlywed couple who become haunted by strange shadowlike images in the photographs they develop after their involvement in a car accident. As more terrifying supernatural occurrences befall them, they begin to wonder whether the photographic ghosts are connected to the accident -- and to question whether they can survive learning the truth.

My Thoughts:

As a remake "Shutter" is a decent movie. On its own as a movie it kind of sucks...a lot. It takes everything that was creepy and interesting about the original and whitewashed it till it seemed silly or just left it out completely. First, I don't understand why this movie has to take place in Japan. This movie could happen in the US. Maybe they don't realize that Asian girls live in the US and they can be creepy, possessive, and have really traditional parents here too. Also, why Japan? The original is a Thai movie that takes place in Thailand. I could understand the Americans being out of place in Thailand, but Japan makes less sense. Do they think Americans are stupid and that they think all Asian horror films are from Japan? Some of the best A-Horror movies I've seen are either Thai or Korean. They made a lot of little changes that don't really make sense and really just took everything that was creepy about the original out. All his friends were incredibly sleazy, so it's not surprising that they had something to do with what happens to the girl. In the original they seem totally normal, nice guys and that makes it more shocking. I could go on and on about the differences that made this movie far inferior to the original, but I won't. I'd skip this one and just watch the original. It gets 2 stars for the actual story plus one star for it's source material. 3 Stars.

Oct. 18th:

Uhh...I missed a horror movie on this day too. I forget why. Oops! That's 2 days I missed! LOSER!

Oct. 19th:

The Brood (1979):

After the painful breakup of her marriage, Nola (Samantha Egger) seeks help at an experimental psychiatric clinic where she's encouraged to work through her subconscious feelings of hurt and rage through bodily manifestation. Unwittingly, Nola gives "birth" to living incarnations of her darkest inner impulses. Once released, "the brood" exacts gruesome revenge against Nola's family for every real and imagined slight. David Cronenberg directs.

My Thoughts:

I was dreading this one. The synopsis sounded stupid and I honestly didn't think that they could pull off good special effects in 1979. I think that I've added and removed this movie from my Q several times. Well, after watching this one all I can say is: what...the...fuck. The Brood was weird, twisted, and downright disturbing at times. The creepy deformed children are totally scary and they're nothing compared to the very end. What I want to know is how have I never heard of this movie before? It's creepy and grotesque, but most importantly it's INTERESTING and even got my horror movie hating husband sucked in (and that's a feat all on its own). I highly recommend this one, especially for the Halloween season. Toward the end you'll need to have a strong stomach. The special effects are really, really well done. See this ASAP! 4 Stars.

Oct. 20th:

Captivity (2007):

After a night of drunken decadence, self-absorbed fashion model Jennifer (Elisha Cuthbert) awakens to find herself locked in a cellar, along with fellow prisoner Gary (Daniel Gillies). As the two try to escape, their invisible, voyeuristic captor -- who has a penchant for sadistic mind games -- is watching every move they make. But all may not what it seems in this tense chiller directed by Roland Joffé.

My Thoughts:

Alright...this one was okay until the very end. They pushed my suspension of disbelieve way too far. The whole premise was stupid enough without having to believe that a 100 pound model becomes a vigilante. Yeah, I just spoiled it for you, but only in hopes that you won't waste your time on this one. The torture scenes aren't scary or even seem that much like torture. Maybe for a model it scary, but not for the average Jane such as myself. The worst part is when they blend face parts and make her drink it, but it's so comically fake that it takes away from its purpose. The whole reason why the killers do what they do is so incredibly stupid too. The main guy was reasonably attractive just go out and hook up with someone. Jeez. Anyway it was a 2 star movie until the last 10 minutes, but the movie just got even more stupid. I honestly didn't think that they could do it, but they did. Skip this one at all costs. 1 Star.

[Reviews] 31 Days of Halloween: Part 3

Continuing on my 31 Days of Halloween: here are the reviews for 10/10-10/12. I'm slowly working on this. I have a lot to catch up to and I'm lazy.

Oct. 10th:

Rosemary's Baby (1968):

Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow), the young wife of a struggling actor (John Cassavetes), is thrilled to find out she's pregnant. But the larger her belly grows, the more certain she becomes that her unborn child is in danger. Perhaps there's something sinister behind the odd enthusiasm her eccentric neighbors (Sidney Blackmer and Ruth Gordon, in an Oscar-winning performance) have for her welfare. Or perhaps it's all in her mind.

My Thoughts:

Where has this movie been all my life? Okay, I watched this once when I was young (middle school) by my mom's recommendation. After my first viewing I was left unimpressed. Many, many years passed and suddenly I started thinking about it. A lot. So I picked it up at my local target for $5 and suddenly my urge to watch it went away. Since I didn't have any new movies from netflix I pulled this one out of my archives to continue with my 31 Days of Halloween. I really, really liked it. Everything about it was great; the mood, the acting, the characters. All great. It's not scary and has little to no gore in it, but the atmosphere was creepy and dark. You felt just like Rosemary oppressed, uncomfortable, and confused. Beautiful. It inspired me to check out other movies done by Polanski. Absolutely perfect for Halloween and highly recommended. 4 Stars.

Oct. 11

Creepshow 2 (1987):

Join our old friend, the rotting Creep, as he introduces this Stephen King anthology that looks at three gruesome tales of horror. They involve a hit-and-run driver in "The Hitchhiker," a wooden Indian in "Ol' Chief Wooden Head" and four friends whose vacation on a secluded lake turns into a nightmare in "The Raft." This deliciously wicked roller-coaster ride will plunge you into the heart of darkness and to the very brink of madness.

My Thoughts:

Wow. These were...pretty bad. It was like they were trying to be tongue-in-cheek about the whole thing, but changed their mind at the last second. It wasn't hilariously bad...just bad, bad. The best of the 3 stories was "The Raft" and the worst was "The Hitchhiker". "Ol' Chief Wooden Head" was a close second, but was beat out by "The Hitchhiker" because the main character was the most grating human being ever to get their entire movie short. It's basically about this chick who's driving home late at night talking to herself in an dramatic over the top way. Maybe if they had made her do a thought voice over it wouldn't have made her seem so crazy. Overall everyone was overacting, the stories were cheesy (NOT scary), and there was no mood or atmosphere. I imagine this movie being cool to 6 year olds that sneak watch this in the middle of the night without their parents knowing. I would suggest skipping this one completely, but if you have no other choice it's okay for Halloween watching...if you want a good laugh that is. 2 very generous stars.

Oct. 12

Quicksilver Highway (1997):

Creepy wanderlust storyteller Aaron Quicksilver (Christopher Lloyd) hosts this hair-raising double feature that begins with Stephen King's "Chattery Teeth," in which a traveling salesman (Raphael Sbarge) makes a big mistake when he picks up two passengers -- a lunatic hitchhiker and a possessed pair of plastic chattering teeth. In Clive Barker's "The Body Politic," a plastic surgeon (Matt Frewer) battles an army of murderous severed limbs.

My Thoughts:

While this Stephen King outing was a little better than "Creepshow 2" it was still pretty bad and at least Creepshow 2 tried to make it creepy. "Quicksliver Highway" is really reaching. I mean, how scary can you make plastic, windup chattering teeth and (bad animated) hands with a mind of their own? And what was up with Christopher Lloyd and his S&M/Black Trenchcoat mafia look? The second story "The Body Politic" was almost so bad it was good, but they made it way too long, the novelty wore off, and it just became annoying. For the most part I was entertained, but it was looking kind of grim for a little while there. Alright for Halloween if there's nothing else. 3 Stars.
I was looking around the web today wondering if they were going to show this clip show this year. Every time it's on I miss the first 25 or so. It looks like they won't be showing it this year or it's weaker brother "30 Even Scarier Movie Moments." Looking at the list I've seen a decent amount of them (still not enough!), so I thought I'd share with you all which ones I've seen. The ones that are bold are the ones I've seen and is followed by my rating. The ones with a "Q" after it means it's in my netflix queue and I plan on watching it soon.

100. 28 Days Later (2002) -- 2 Stars
99. Creepshow (1982) -- Q
98. Zombi (1979)
97. Cat People (1982)
96. The Birds (1963) -- Q
95. Jurassic Park (1993) -- 3 Stars
94. Child's Play (1988) -- 3 Stars
93. Pacific Heights (1990)
92. Village of the Damned (1960)
91. Shallow Grave (1994)
90. Night of the Hunter (1995)

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Tell me...which ones have you seen?

[Reviews] 31 Days of Halloween: Part 2

Here are the horror movies I've watched from 10/5-10/9 and 10/10-10/17 are soon to follow. Now that I don't have any house guests I'll have more time to write up my reviews.

Oct. 5:

Seven (1995):

Two homicide detectives are on a desperate hunt for a serial killer (Kevin Spacey) whose crimes are based on the Seven Deadly Sins. The dark and haunting film takes viewers from the tortured remains of one victim to the next. The seasoned Det. Sommerset (Morgan Freeman) researches the Seven Deadly Sins in an effort to get inside the killer's mind, while his novice hotshot partner, Mills (Brad Pitt), scoffs at his efforts to unravel the case.

My Thoughts:

To me, Seven is not a horror movie. Seven is a psychological thriller, which I think is completely different. That said, I think that Seven is a great movie. It's gritty, it's bleak, and it's interesting. One thing that bothers me about Seven is Brad Pitt. His acting was rather wooden and uninspiring and everyone else outshines him. However, that aside I really like this film. Seven isn't for everyone. It's violent and disturbing at times. I don't think that this is a good movie for Halloween though. It's not scary and doesn't have that Halloween vibe. You should absolutely see it, but save this one for another time. 4 Stars.

Oct. 6th:

The Amityville Horror (2005):

Hapless home-buyers George (Ryan Reynolds) and Kathy (Melissa George) Lutz discover their dream home is possessed by evil spirits in this terrifying remake based on the popular book. The story begins when the Lutzes purchase a home with a bloody history: Ronald DeFeo killed his entire family in the same home just a year earlier. Soon after moving into the house, George, Kathy and their three children are terrorized by demonic forces.

My Thoughts:

The remake of the Amityville Horror starts off with with a bang. It comes right out of the gate at a fast pace and doesn't stop. It's full of violence and tension from start to finish and doesn't leave much room for anything else at an 89 minute run time. I originally saw this movie in theaters. It certainly was a more intense experience in the theater. At home and 3 years later it seems a little cheesy and completely implausible. I can suspend my disbelief for a killer house, but the fact that there was no question in the wife's mind that her husband was possessed by the house and not having a psychotic break or perhaps simply an abusive person is hard for me to swallow. In the remake they explore more why the house is evil and make up a back story for it. The remake is also 100x's scarier than the original, which was, let's face it, extremely dull. The Amityville Horror is fairly gory and has children being murdered. If that isn't your bag than I'd suggest you skip this one. Otherwise this is a pretty good horror movie for Halloween. 3.5 Stars.

Oct. 7th:

Burnt Offerings (1976):

A vacationing family rents a sprawling mansion for the summer and soon discovers that all is not as it should be. Among other equally strange things, dead plants come back to life, and the swimming pool kills bathers -- which makes a quick dip out of the question. Stars Oliver Reed, Karen Black, Bette Davis and Burgess Meredith.

My Thoughts:

I'm actually not quite sure how this one ended up in my Q, but somehow it did and one word can sum this one up: bor-ing...with a capital b! Bette Davis was a delight as always. She was wonderfully over the top and garish, but even her campiness couldn't shake the coma like pacing and duller than dirt characters. I forced myself to stay awake (my eyes were starting to roll around in my head about half way through) in hopes that something cool was going to happen, but that moment never came. The action started to pick up at the hour and 53 minute mark and the movie ended at an hour and 54 minutes. The way the characters act in general didn't make much sense and pointless a side story drags the movie out. The funny thing is that Burnt Offerings is most known for the pointless side story (the hearse driver). Not scary and worst of all not interesting. Skip this one. 2 Stars.

Oct. 8th:

Monster Squad (1987):

Dracula, the Wolfman, Frankenstein, the Mummy and Gill Man descend on a tiny town in search of a diabolically powerful amulet. Only 12-year-old Sean (Andre Gower) and his gang of monster-obsessed misfits can save the day in this overlooked 1987 horror comedy. This 20th-anniversary edition also includes new interviews with Gower and co-stars Ryan Lambert, Duncan Regehr, Tom Noonan and writer-director Fred Dekker.

My Thoughts:

Basically Monster Squad is a Halloween themed version of The Goonies. Unfortunately if you love The Goonies (as I very much do) it is unfair to compare the two because it set this movie up to fail. I simply had too high of expectations for this movie to be as amazing as I think The Goonies is. I also think that this is one of those movies that you had to experience as a child to truly appreciate it. As a 24 year old who has never seen it it struck me as corny and childish, but I can see people who loved this movie as a child would still love it because of the fond memories is brings. Unlike the Goonies there's no character development and no real chance to even get to know these kids, which makes it hard to get into the movie. This one is perfect for those who don't like scary movies. No gore, no violence, and it's silly. Great for the kiddies too. It's rated PG-13, but I think PG is a more appropriate rating. Besides a few virgin jokes and some cussing it's very child friendly. Overall, not a bad movie, but I think I just expected too much. 3 Stars.

Oct. 9th:

The Ruins:

An idyllic vacation in Cancun takes a dangerous turn for four young Americans when they're persuaded by a mysterious tourist to join an archaeological dig and subsequently find themselves lost within the cursed ruins of a forgotten city. Adapted by Scott B. Smith from his own novel, this bone-chilling thriller from director Carter Smith stars Jonathan Tucker, Laura Ramsey, Jena Malone and Shawn Ashmore.

My Thoughts:

This one was average all around. The acting, the characters, the story...all average. Due to the synopsis given by netflix I thought that a shady tourist was going to lure them to the ruins to kill them, but the tourist is just as SOL as everyone else in the movie. Jena Malone (The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys) was the most annoying character. She whines and complains about EVERYTHING and when they realize that going to the ruins was a bad idea she whines and complains about how she was right to not want to go (and not because she had a "bad feeling" but because she was hungover). She's also the reason they get trapped on the ruin because people are threatening her with machetes and she's taking their picture. There's some gore and no real horror (unless you find CGI flowers that can imitate ringtones scary -- and really those flowers are lucky it was a regular ringing tone and not Urgent by Foreigner like my phone). Overall I've seen worse, but I've seen better. I wouldn't rush to see it, but it's a decent movie for Halloween. 3 Stars.

I still have 6 more reviews to post, but I'm getting kinda tired of typing, so I'll post them later. Look forward to it!

[Reviews] 31 Days of Halloween: Part 1

Here are the horror movies I watched this last week:


P2 was an amazing movie. I came into it expecting a stupid horror movie that was going to be full of cliches and cheap scares. Instead P2 was filled with pure comic genius. To me, P2 ended up being the greatest unintentional comedy I've seen all year. A lot of people were saying that P2 was scary and suspenseful. Were we watching the same movie? As a horror movie it fails completely. There is no suspense, no one to root for, and very little action. Wes Bentley took crazy a little too far and came off as hilarious instead of scary. The best scene is when he's in the car with our "heroine" and he's flipping out because she said his name too many times. Angela was benign. Even when she's dishing out revenge she's blah. By the end of the movie when they're playing chicken in a dark parking garage I was in tears. Has some gore and an animal killing, but it's pretty tame for a horror movie of today (not even any nudity). If this movie wasn't so hilarious it would've been an awful movie. Not recommended as a Halloween movie -- the Christmas setting takes the edge off and lets face it, not scary at all. 4 Stars.

The Ring:

The Ring is one of the few horror movies to give me chills. I've seen almost every incantation of The Ring (except for the Japanese prequel and the American sequel) and I think that this is the best version. It's a little cheesy at times, but for the most part it keeps an oppressive air about it. Kind of a bleak film. Good special effects and some scary moments. Definitely recommended for your Halloween views! 4 Stars.

Lake Placid:

Here's a movie that tries too hard to be funny. It had a few funny moments, but really it was kind of painful to sit through. This definitely is for the crowd that doesn't like the scary part of horror movies. The story revolves around a poorly animated crocodile and basically a group of bumbling idiots who butt heads about what's going on. A little bit of gore and a lot of cheese. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood... 3 Stars.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006):

I've never seen the 1977 version of THHE, but I really do enjoy this one. I can't really explain why I enjoy it so much without giving away major plot points, but I will say that I truly enjoy the sense of justice that's doled out and the second half of this movie is very satisfying The costumes and make up were fantastic and the acting is pretty good. This is not for the squeamish. There's a pretty brutal rape scene and it's very violent. I actually remembered this movie it be a lot more disturbing then I actually thought it was this time around. Perhaps that part of my brain is starting to numb. Hahaha. 4 Stars.

The Exorcist:

Classic, classic, classic. I first saw The Exorcist when I was 5 years old and I still get a sinking feeling in my stomach when I watch it 20 years later. It's amazing that Linda Blair wasn't traumatized making this movie at such a young age (well at the very least it traumatized her career). The restored subliminal messages were kinda cheesy and took me out of the film a little, but the addition of the stair scene more than makes up for it. Perfect for Halloween...not for the squeamish (or the overly religious...my mother-in-law freaked when she saw I owned this and got mad at me). 5 Stars.

In the Mouth of Madness:

Terrible! Yuck! What an awful movie. ITMOM follows the same trend that most of the thrillers/horror movies from the mid-90's did. It was incredibly over acted, had cheesy effects, and was boring. I hate when I get suckered into renting a movie because I think the storyline sounds cool. It was repetitive and all the characters were super annoying. I was tempted to shut it off several times, but resisted because I thought the effects would at least be cool. No such luck. Skip this one. Don't let the cool sounding synopsis pull you in! 1 Star.

The Blair Witch Project

For me The Blair Witch Project will always be a classic. I think for this to be more than a movie about campers who get lost in the woods you had to see it in the peak of Blair Witch mania. The first time I saw this the movie hadn't even been released yet. A friend gave me a bootleg copy, which I watched by myself in the middle of the night. When this movie came out everyone thought that it was real and in the summer of 1999 you could not convince me that this movie wasn't real. I think if you didn't experience The Blair Witch Project during Blair Witch mania it will never be scary. At this point TBWP isn't scary to me anymore, but the very end still gives me chills. Perfect for Halloween! 4 Stars.

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